November 6, 2009

What’s 2 Plus 2? Disco!

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under real life, seen and heard, toronto
Leave a Comment 

On the Dufferin bus last night – a mother and daughter get on to discover the girl’s teacher is on the bus, so they’re sitting together talking. The girl is bubbly and vivacious and the teacher shifts into teacher mode and interacts with the girl, encouraging her to  do some basic math in her head. The girl, who appears to be about 6 or so, starts quizzing the teacher instead, with little visual brain twisters. She poses the question, “what’s one plus one?” The answer – a window, as she references the lines made by the muntins in an old-style window, using her index fingers to form a cross.

Then, “what’s two plus two?” The teacher guesses a heart, presuming the game to be based on the shape of the written numbers.

The child hold up two fingers on each hand.

“W?” the teacher guesses.

“No!” the little girl says gleefully, as her mother laughs from her seat across the aisle.

Then, doing her best Uma Thurman impression, right down to the glowering eyes (do people let their 6-year-olds watch Pulp Fiction, do you think, or is the image just part of a more general pop culture?), she says, “2 plus 2 is disco dancing!”

 

October 19, 2009

Picking and Choosing

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under media, real life, writing
[3] Comments 

I had an interesting conversation the other night with two different people involved with small independent bookstores. The conversation touched on how customers come into their respective stores and get upset when they don’t have something in stock. But as a small indie shop, they don’t have the space or budget to carry every single title in the genres in which they specialize. So they have to make a decision as to what makes the cut. And their customers mostly have to trust that judgment.

The art of curating (or editing) – it takes place all the time, in every industry, on every level. It’s somebody’s job to decide what products make it onto shelves and racks in various stores, what artwork is included in a show, what stories make it to the pages of magazines and book anthologies.

There’s a certain unfairness to it, of course – depending on the topic or product there might be 5 or 20 or 100 things that don’t make the cut for every 1 that does. This also comes with a lot of responsibility – woe be to the fashion buyer who chooses incorrectly and sticks her store with something that doesn’t sell – especially if it was ordered in the hundred – or thousands.

(more…)

 

September 29, 2009

The F-Word

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under fashion, health, people are silly, real life
[2] Comments 

fatladyI was at a media event a few weeks ago, talking with some folks about why I don’t do restaurant reviews for TasteTO myself. “I’m pretty unique looking, you know? If I’m out at something like this and meet a chef, they’re probably going to remember the fat girl with the red hair and sparkly glasses.”

Nervous laughter.

It’s either that or dead silence. Maybe someone will pipe up and say, “oh, you’re not fat” in a way that lets you know clearly that they think you are. But people seem to really not know how to deal with a fat girl referring to herself as fat.

But here’s the thing – I’m with myself every day – in the shower, in front of the mirror, getting dressed… buying new clothes. I know what the scale says, what the size tags say and what the measuring tape says. And they all say that I’m fat.

And I’m okay with that.

Really.

Personal history, genetics, and a job where I basically eat and then sit down and write about what I eat – all of that aside, I’m fat and I’m probably never going to be skinny. Technically I’ve been fat since I was 10. And I don’t really have an overwhelming desire to be thin, skinny or “average”.

(more…)

 

September 21, 2009

Seeing Stars

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under events and festivals, films, people are silly, personal history, real life, toronto
Leave a Comment 

clooneyAnd with a sigh of relief – this year’s Toronto International Film Festival is over.

How I hate the damned thing.

It’s not that I don’t like the movies, or that I don’t appreciate what goes into them, but TIFF seems more and more about the “celebrities” each year than the actual films. Who’s wearing what, who ate where? One publication even had a bathroom broadcast, reporting on the washroom habits of visiting celebrities.

I find the obsession with the stars so very strange. Sure, when you’re a teenager, it’s natural to be obsessed with the cute rock star… but I always assumed being star-struck was something we grew out of as adults, secure in the knowledge that the stars are just like the rest of us, and would prefer to be treated as such.

I had the misfortune to find myself on a King streetcar on the evening that George Clooney’s new film was premiering at Roy Thompson Hall. There was a crowd outside as we rolled past and as everyone gawked to see who might be there, someone let out a scream. They had caught sight of George Clooney and within seconds there were people screeching, yelling things out the windows and generally making fools of themselves, unaware or unconcerned that he couldn’t actually hear them.

One might offer up the excuse that Clooney is handsome. Or talented. But so are many people with careers other than acting. We don’t screech like hyaenas at handsome waiters. We don’t wave our underwear at handsome accountants. We don’t chase down handsome garbage men to collect their autographs.

So what makes celebrities so special? Is it their talent at acting or singing – special skills that we don’t all possess? Is it their glamorous lifestyles (even though all the tabloids assure us that celebrities have cellulite, buy groceries and walk their dogs – just like the rest of us)?

And how does our collective behaviour make celebrities feel?

(more…)

 

September 6, 2009

The End of the Desperate Season or What I Didn’t Do on My Summer Vacation

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under holidays, memories, real life, spirituality
Leave a Comment 

comorant

Counting down the days, hours, minutes. Summer doesn’t officially end for a few weeks, but the psychological end of summer will happen tomorrow afternoon, when the CNE closes, when the last stupid air show plane buzzes the neighbourhood, and when kids head home to pack their pencils and books and return to school.

The leaves are already beginning to change on a few trees, and there’s a crispness to the air most mornings that wasn’t noticeable before I went to Halifax a few weeks ago.

Autumn is my favourite season; it’s not too hot or too cold; it’s sunny but you usually need a jacket (I like jackets); and the eating is especially good as the harvest reaches its peak. I don’t even mind winter especially – except maybe those days when there’s freezing rain, or where the sidewalks are slippery because people don’t shovel.

But I’m delighted to see the end of summer.

(more…)

 

August 18, 2009

This is a Sidewalk, It’s NOT a Bike Path

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under government, people are silly, toronto, urban living
[2] Comments 

nobikesEarlier this month, a Toronto woman was struck and killed by a 15-year-old riding a bicycle on the sidewalk. Accounts indicate that both parties saw one another and tried to swerve, and that the cyclist was going fairly slowly,  but the collision caused the woman to fall and hit her head and later die from head trauma.

The City of Toronto does a really pitiful job of enforcing the sidewalk cycling bylaws, to the point that most cyclists I’ve yelled at talked to don’t even know about them, and are prone to aggression, even violence, when an unsuspecting pedestrian points out the law.

Because the City of Toronto feels that they cannot successfully enforce an age restriction on sidewalk cyclists, they have chosen instead to enforce the law (“enforce” being the laughable part of that statement) based on wheel size. Cyclists with a wheel size of 61cm/24inches or less are legally permitted to ride on the sidewalk, everyone else is not (which doesn’t stop them, really…). This rule was created to ostensibly allow small children to safely ride their bikes without having to ride alongside automobile traffic, but innovations in bikes for adults have created a variety of bikes with smaller wheels – such as the one the boy in the above-noted accident was riding.

The sad part of this is that the whole issue could be rectified if we went back to licensing cyclists.

(more…)

 

July 14, 2009

Floral Study in Blue

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under flora and fauna
[3] Comments 

cloverbouquet2

Further to my post about wildflowers, I decided to gather some when Greg and I were at the farmers’ market at Liberty Village  last weekend. There’s a low fence around the parking lot where the market takes place and on a whim I plucked a few cornflowers, some huge red clover and a head of Queen Anne’s lace from the scrubby unmowed grass. I came home and popped them in a small vase and took some quick photos, hoping that I’d get some good ones; the colours match my shower curtain and I’ve been looking for some decent artwork to hang in the bathroom for a few years now.

I’m pretty happy with how these turned out. I’ve never really considered myself a photographer; being totally of the point and shoot attitude, but the macro on this little Sony Cybershot is pretty rocking.

cornflower

Cornflower close-up.

clover

Red clover close up - holy petal striations.

cornflower_bouquet

Bouquet featuring Queen Anne's lace.

corn_clover_closeup

Cornflower and clover close-up.

 

July 9, 2009

Miss Shirley’s Urban Wisdom – Riding the Elevator

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under miss shirley's urban wisdom, people are silly
Leave a Comment 

missshirleyIn wide use since the mid-1800s, elevators enable people to gain access to areas of multi-floor buildings without having to use the stairs. This device is incredibly useful for anyone moving large or bulky items such as boxes, baby strollers, shopping buggies, beer kegs, large dogs or refrigerators.

Although the western world has lived with the elevator for over 150 years, it appears that some basic rules and etiquette continue to be neglected. Miss Shirley will enlighten you.

First, when you approach the elevator and press the button to call the car to your floor, step back once you have done so. While it seems like the most basic of common sense, if you stand directly in front of the doors, the people already on the elevator will not be able to disembark. Which means you won’t be able to get on, you stupid nimrod!

Second, once you have entered the elevator, select the floor you want and move as far into the car as possible so that others getting on behind you have room. Do not, Miss Shirley will repeat this, do NOT block the goddamn doorway. If you desire to remain close to the door, either because you are phobic, someone else on the elevator smells bad, or because you are getting off before everyone else, wait and let the other people on first. Miss Shirley, who lives on the 2nd floor of her building and who is usually accompanied on her elevator trips by two large dogs, often lets others onto the car first so that she does not have to push past them 30 seconds later to disembark. Also, elevators are not like airplanes – if for some reason the door closes before you can get on, the elevator will be back in a couple of minutes.

(more…)

 

July 7, 2009

Puppy Love

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under pets
1 Comment 

sleepingdogs

I’m not a huge fan of Christie Blatchford at the Globe and Mail. She’s a little … shrill about most things. But although some readers hate it when she writes about her dog, these are probably my favourite articles of hers. Saturday’s article, in particular, hit a nerve.

As my dogs get older, there’s not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for their continued existence. The vet once told us that we’d be lucky if Bowie made it to 10 years, because of his size, but we’re currently working on 11.

But they’re both slowing down. They don’t want to run and play as much as they once did. They often don’t have the patience to be petted and mauled. And when either dog gets injured or ill, or even sometimes when I walk past and look at them sleeping, I have to shake the fear, nay – the sheer dread,  of the inevitable out of my head.

When they’re gone…

No. Stop it. Not gonna happen. Never.

But it will. And somehow we’ll deal. Hopefully.

In the meantime, I make a point of enjoying every minute with them. Even if all they’re doing is sleeping; sprawled out on the floor, feet twitching, eyes rolling under their soft eyelids, barking at imaginary squirrels, chasing imaginary balls, nomming imaginary snacks.

People say it’s impossible for a dog owner to claim to love their dog as much as a parent loves a child. Those people are idiots.

 

July 3, 2009

Wildflower – Crazy ‘Bout You, Yeah

Posted by Sheryl Kirby under environment, flora and fauna, toronto
[2] Comments 

wildflower1

However you feel about gentrification – and it has it pros and cons – it has to be said that part of its purpose is to clean places up. Clean out the grubby building, the grubby litter, the grubby people and all that grubby scrub at the side of the road. Gentrification means pristine lawns and swept walks. Sure there are flowers, but they’re there on purpose – well trimmed and watered and chosen to make a statement.

wildflower2

Another shot of this crazy plant. It's about 4 feet high.

With all the new condos going up around our hood, one of the things going missing is the wildflowers. There used to be a stretch along Dovercourt that was old derelict factories – it’s full of ugly faceless townhouses now – that was just covered in cornflowers and Queen Anne’s lace in the summer. Most of Joe Shuster Way was a vacant lot for a few years, and before they dug a ginormous pit there, it too was full of flowers in the summer. Along the fence there would be buttercups, daisies, more corn flowers… and some huge things I couldn’t identify but that were mighty in size.

wildflower3

Waiting to see what the bulb-like thing at lower right turns out to be.

These images are from some scrub around the bus shelter at Dufferin and Queen. It’s a strip mall layout, slated to become – guess! – condos, although with the current recession, that plan might have gotten scrapped. I’m always pleased to see wildflowers in places like this; not only taking root in the cracks in the concrete, but thriving, huge, 3 or 4 feet high.

Most people probably think of them as ugly weeds, but I enjoy them far more that I do an overly thought-out “landscaped” arrangement of mundane but acceptable flowers from the garden centre.

 

Next Page »